They say that the type of person who buys a book on manners is the last person who needs to read a book on manners. At least that was the thinking back when everything felt less coarse, and people weren’t conducting FaceTime calls at full volume in crowded restaurants. Were we ever so innocent?

People fear manners are going downhill—that’s the natural condition, and existed a hundred years ago. Kingsley Amis thought everything went wrong in England when they started to let women in pubs, for goodness sake. But something is off. It’s a combination of technology, which makes people indifferent to those around them, to more crowded travel conditions, which allows people to think it’s everybody for themselves, to a certain self-centeredness, which is sadly part of modern life.

And yet we persist. I still believe it’s worth maintaining a better standard, even in our own small way. More than once I’ve seen well-dressed young men in airports complimented by the staff, who are pleasantly surprised somebody still makes such an effort. It’s a reminder that these gestures are a form of kindness to strangers, and something worth aspiring to.

So here are some guidelines that can keep us all honest as we fight the good fight.

1/ Tipping well is a life decision.

2/ Please don’t enter a restaurant talking on a phone.

3/ Being good with names is a question of effort.

4/ No toast has ever been too short.

5/ Be not the first man to recline his seat.

6/ FaceTiming in public is antisocial.

7/ You’re not going to make friends monopolizing the overhead bin.

8/ If you’re in an empty restaurant you can ask them to turn the music down. If it’s full then you’re on your own and can remember for next time.

9/ You’ll always wish you packed less.

10/ Nobody feels better after a buffet.

11/ Carrying small bills makes tipping easier.

12/ Always bring something to a dinner party. If your host has the menu set then bring a gift. A bottle of champagne will do.

13/ Waiters should tell you price of specials. But there’s nothing wrong with asking the market price of something if they don’t (especially if it involves truffles).

14/ Don’t lie to your tailor, fishing guide, doctor, caddy or mother. They’ll know the truth soon enough.

15/ Your bag is part of you and if it hits somebody then apologize. (Another reason not wear a backpack.)

16/ Bringing hot food on an airplane is criminal.

17/ Don’t smoke cigars around strangers who aren’t.

18/ Once you lay down on the airport floor you can’t go any lower.

19/ If you had a great meal tell the waiter and the host. If you had a great hotel stay tell the people at the desk.

20/ You’re old enough to give money to a charity or arts organization, even if it’s $25.

21/ No matter your level of expertise, don’t order wine without consulting the rest of the table. Unless you’re hosting and settling the tab.

22/ Every handwritten note is appreciated. Get good stationery if it helps motivate you.

23/ If the hotel concierge was helpful then put 20 euros in an envelope and hand it to him at the end of your stay.

24/ Salary and rent are private matters (but be assured that most people feel one is too low and the other too high).

25/ If you need something in a restaurant don’t ask the first person passing by. Wait until your waiter returns.

26/ A napkin is not a handkerchief.

27/ A logo doesn’t impresses anybody you want to impress.

28/ Don’t save a seat in a crowded bar.

29/ When you can afford to hire a housekeeper then try it.

30/ When recommending books have some slim favorites around 200 pages. Like The Primary Colors, A Month in the Country, Everyday Drinking or The Shooting Party.

31/ It’s not the guide’s fault you’re not catching fish.

32/ If there’s a line outside then consider yourself warned.

33/ There’s nothing wrong with asking for advice in a good men’s store, even if you can’t afford to shop there. They’ll be more helpful than you realize. One day you’ll be back.

34/ You’ll never regret being a regular.

35/ Black socks are for funerals, white socks are for tennis.

36/ You’re not ready for a night out without any cash.

37/ Have a calling card you’re proud of. Your name and number are enough.

38/ Fantasy football misaligns your allegiances.

39/ You’ll survive posting fewer photos.

40/ Do everything in your power not to rent clothes.

41/ If something will fit when you lose weight then it doesn’t fit.

42/ It’s good to have an unpredictable interest.

43/ An exclamation point in a text is an ally.

44/ Your dry cleaner can hem your pants, anything more than that requires a tailor. It’s good to know one nearby (try Ignacio’s on 60th Street).

45/ Use the “work emergency” excuse sparingly.

46/ Your friend referred a client to you? Send them a bottle of something good.

47/ Being useful in the kitchen always pays off.

48/ Why travel abroad if you eat the same thing as at home?

49/ When your flight is delayed it’s not the gate agent’s fault.

50/ People who host events are recovering the next morning. Thank them by text early.

51/ If you’re going to be a houseguest then offer to cook a meal ahead of time (so everybody can prepare). If your hosts do the cooking then offer to wash up.

52/ When you can afford a tuxedo then buy one.

53/ You know the way to put a bag in the overhead bin and it’s not sideways.

54/ Taking the bus in Manhattan is easier than you think.

55/ Buy flowers from a deli, or anywhere else for that matter.

56/ Cologne can be welcome, but should leave people wanting more not less.

57/ Please set your Venmo profile to private.

58/ Packing less clarifies your mind and can make you a more expressive dresser.

59/ There are many reasons people get good tables at a restaurant. Certainly ask for the corner banquette but understand that you might not get it.

60/ How will you learn to tie a bow tie if you don’t practice?

61/ When abroad greet people in their language.

62/ Take your phone call outside.

63/ Tip well but remember what Gerard Oberle said: “Friendship cannot be purchased with a tip.”

64/ You don’t need to document every meal and cocktail.

65/ As you move up in the world you should own better sheets.

66/ Don’t be afraid of the opera or a football game.

67/ A wedding toast should not be off color.

68/ If you think a wine is off then ask the waiter or sommelier to try it. Don’t get mad, these things happen.

69/ Don’t bombard people in their DMs.

70/ At the end of the year tip your doorman, housekeeper, dry cleaner and staff at any club you’re proud to be a member of (and even those you’re not).